Saturday, August 21, 2010

I hate men

So yes I have begun to put myself out there to try and find out who I am and what I want. So I have been on RSVP, and before you make judgement about that, I ask you, where would you try and meet single men these days??? It is very difficult if you are not on one of these sites. And take it from me, as most of you will as you are all happily smug marrieds.....that it is bloody hard to find people to meet.
I mean I did join the Table for Six dinner club....and boy how did that go??? Not that well is the answer. Sitting for hours with 5 other people that you may think right from the start are just not your cup of tea. But you feel obliged to sit and chat and make stupid small talk that means nothing to noone, not even you if you are the one talking. You sit and you nod your head, and smile at the appropriate time, while all the while thinking I wish I could look at my watch and somehow take back the wasted time that you have just lost.
But I digress......
The current situation is that I have been talking to a certain male and have met him a few times. He seems nice, I enjoy his company and it seemed the feelings were mutual, but low and behold they are not. God I hate games. You either like someone or you don't and if you don't why don't people have the balls to just tell you?? I don't understand it, but then I don't play games. I generally tell it like it is but with this type of situation I have held back.
I don't want to seem too desperate and embarrass myself. I know you are thinking that this is generally not an issue for me as I tend to embarrass myself regularly, but this is much more difficult. Especilly when it means something. Now I am certainly not saying that this is the be all and end all of something because there is no relationship or is just the point. When someone texts you I believe that you have an obligation to acknowledge and if needed respond to the message. Not immediately of course but when you can. Why do others not feel the same way? Why do we at times seem to not have some common curtesy in regards to others? I guess I have now experienced this lack of curtesy from a male again, the other one needs not be named here as all and sundry know it.
So here I sit, dissapointed, disenchanted and maybe a little emotionally dented, but I know I will be fine and I know this is just a very little thing but it is just another hurdle for me deal with, another step in the journey, another lesson to learn.....

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