I know that it has been a little while since I last blogged,how do I know this? Well Dani only tells me every time she sees me that she checks my blog each night and is dissapointed because once again I have failed to discuss my terribly pathetic life for all and sundry to share. Dissapointed someone again. Not a new emotion for me to inflict on others, but one I thought I would rectify tonight.
So here I am, about a month away from Michael applying for a divorce. How do i feel? Well I have had some very difficult days and weeks. He seems to be able to push all my buttons to make me truly believe that everything was my fault and continues to be my fault. He knows how to make me feel like I am a failure at everything.
I have decided to stop giving him the power over me. I have to stop taking everything on board. It wasn't all my fault. I have to give him half of the blame. I have to accept that I made mistakes and forgive me. Am I worth forgiving? I am trying to believe that I am.
So I make another sweeping statement of moving on and looking forward and not back. I wonder how long I will last this time?????